I’m lost

Never felt before like this. I feel like my life is going nowhere. And this is for the first time I’m getting impacted by a global crisis. Added to that my profession helps to make my condition worse everyday. Its a mechanical day for me, not just today, but its the same for the past 2 weeks.

I really don’t know where I’m heading towards. Hopes that miracles happen and good time will come followed by these bad days. Till then going to the state of self distraction. Yes trying to get rid of these thoughts what I’m expressing here and as a first step I’m going for a pilgrimage. I booked the tickets for my parents also, so that i can meet them for a while. Even they are feeling lonely these days. All their kids are away from them.

Can’t understand it completely, but my mom was telling this to me yesterday that its 10 years that my elder bro started living away from them. He went for engineering studies and from that day onwards very few months he was there in the home. Nowadays very few visits. All are busy, added to that he is far away now when compared to the place where he studied his engineering.

Yesterday I thought of going home. May be strange, but true to my heart, I felt this because of two reasons:

1. What  I’m going to do this weekend?

2. I felt bad after checking the Lunch menu in the food court. The same old dishes and i was feeling damn hungry. But my thoughts went to home, were i could get good food at any time i need. Also I have the option for having any dish rather than just picking any from the repetitive dishes of Food court.

I checked for the train tickets and it was in waiting list, can’t even have a slight hope of getting any seat. That idea got cancelled then and there itself. Again the bad time is patting on my back very badly. Now planning to go for a long vacation. Let me see this time my vice profession won’t give me any more surprises from the box and won’t make me hold back by showing glittering gold.